We may often be of great help to our children if our timing is correct.
Help offered prematurely may cut off communication before the real problem is found.
Giving support and genuine reassurance is appropriate AFTER "reflecting feelings" has run it's course and both we, and they, fully understand the actual problem. (Reminds me of "Come let US reason together that YE may understand...")
Premature, or false, reassurance is OUR attempt to guarantee our child will be successful or happy without THEIR "paying their price".
Genuine reassurance, properly timed, is an expression of our love and our confidence in our child.
Suggesting ways to solve their problem and offering personal and family resources may help if, and when, he or she is receptive. Our suggestions may also create 'dependency' and take away 'responsibility'.
Each of our efforts to help must be carefully evaluated to determine whether or not they will promote "growth" and "maturity".
It is our duty, as parents, to create a climate of acceptance and trust so that our children freely seek our counsel rather than resist it.
From "Becoming a Better Parent" LDS Social Services
BETTER PARENTING - BE PREPARED: If you fail to plan and prepare, you ARE preparing and planning to fail. I love my four children! I would have liked to parent them better. This is some of what I wish I had been able to know thirty or forty years ago! I hope this helps my younger friends.
2 comments:
Great post. Timing is critical. Is the "Becoming a Better Parent" manual the same as the "Parent Education Course" published in 1976?
Good question! I don't actually know. The copy I have is copyrighted 1974, so possibly.
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