Devastating Messages

Don’t feel - Stop crying! You big baby.

Don’t want - That’s more than you can ever get.

Don’t be sane - How can you think that? You’re crazy!

Don’t enjoy - What’s so funny? Stop laughing.

Don’t belong - Go to your room. You can’t join that club.
You’re the odd one out in our family.

Don’t try - You can’t do that. Why would you think you can?…

Don’t be strong - Well, who do you think you are? Big stuff?

Don’t make it - You’ll never do it/be able to do it/This is too hard for you/You’ll never be able to finish.

Don’t be male/female - I wish you were a boy/girl. Calling a person “it”.

Don’t think - (If you think, you will see how I (drink) too much).

Don’t be the age you are - I wish you were (younger) or (older).

Don’t grow up - I like you small. I liked you when you were little.

Don’t be close - Get away from me/her/him. Go away!

Don’t be you - Why can’t you be like your sister/brother?

Don’t be (Don’t exist) - I wish you were dead/I’m sorry you were ever born. You were a mistake. Drop dead.

Please others - Say ‘please/thank you’. What will others think?

Be perfect - Why haven’t you got all A’s? You got that wrong! You always make a mistake!

Hurry up - Quickly! We haven’t got time for you to dawdle again. You are so slow!

Be strong - Of course you can do that – don’t be a weakling.

Better Messages:

What makes you happy? I’m glad. Living means we need some skill – maybe this will help…

What do you have trouble with? Do you need any help from me? Who may be able to help?

It’s OK to feel the way you do now. I can understand why you would feel that way about this.

I love the age you are. I loved you younger. When you are older I will love you that age too.

I love having you share my life/in our family. Thank you for being in our family/group.

We have time today, let’s talk. Another time we might need to rush.

You are doing fine just the way you are. Keep it up. I am part of your cheering section.

Well done. What have you learned? Will you do it the same next time?