As adults, it is our duty to help our children develop
attitudes. They can be peaceful, confident
and successful in life. Not long ago, I witnessed a situation that made me very
sad. A boy who did not follow rules or work in class was a recess bully. He constantly hit other kids and made fun of
them.
One of my colleagues commented, “His mother calls him
silly, she always says that he is a 'Good for nothing.'” I realized when a child does not receive love at home, he becomes insecure
and manifests anger by bullying. I
thought, “Are there parents like that?” Perhaps the boy’s mother had been
treated the same way during her childhood and that is what she learned. I felt
sympathy for her. The saddest thing for me was to realize this boy was growing
up with a lack of love and confidence, believing that he wasn’t good at
anything.
It is important to reflect on our own behaviour,
feelings, emotions and our negative beliefs dragged with us from our childhood. By
understanding ourselves, we can provide our children with better tools than we
had.
1. Cherish a
child's insight. As children, we were often told, "Be quiet, the
adults are talking.” Children do need to learn respect. It is important also for them to express
themselves freely. They will learn confidence.
2. Avoid
mocking a child. Although children are young and have lots of lessons
to learn, it is important to respect their emotions, desires and goals. I know
a teenager who told her parents that she had fallen in love with someone.
Mockingly, her parents laughed at her and asked, “What do you know about love?”3. Provide your children with tools to express themselves appropriately. Art, music, dance or drawing help children value their efforts and to express their emotions. These and sport help them develop greater self-esteem as they see their goals fulfilled. Journals also help children write about their experiences and feelings.
4. Avoid
comparing a child with other children. Some parents say, “If you were
like so and so . . . " which may create rivalries and feelings of
inferiority anger or despair — especially if the children are very close in
age.
5. Avoid
labels. Comments such as, “Johnny is terrible, stubborn and mischievous,"
only worsen certain characteristics of a child's personality. The child ends up
believing the words and will tend to fulfill this role.
6. Discipline
your children with love. Teach them to
learn from their mistakes. Help them see challenges as an opportunity
to grow as a person. Cheer them.
Reassure them that they can learn and overcome.
7. Treasure
your child's efforts. Be there for your child at each learning stage.
Show your happiness when he is successful. It is important to verbalize and
show your happiness by complimenting and hugging him.
8. Show each
child your love. We think our children already know we love them.
Nevertheless, it is important to express love in word, a smile, in listening to
them — accompanied with a hug and an encouraging word.
9. Never
say, “What are people going to think if they see you doing this? “You
are being watched. Behave!” These phrases create insecurity. As adults, we must
teach our children to behave because it is the right thing to do. We must explain why. They will learn to act
correctly without fearing what other people may say.
Practice these tips. Make a sincere effort to show character
when making your parental decisions. Show calmness when facing trials and
happiness. Set a good example. Help
children develop their confidence and self-esteem. They can become happy
individuals who know their strengths and weaknesses. They will know they can overcome any
obstacles they may face. Let us work
together to raise more confident and competent children.
Adapted From: Maia Fernandez - http://familyshare.com
