Communication: Your Part - Reflect Feelings

Reflective listening is the big brother of Summarizing.

When your child is talking, listen for their feelings and emotions.

They may not say the feeling words... but they will display their feelings in body, facial expression or eye language. They will also likely express their feelings and emotions in tone of voice, or pace or forcefulness of speaking.

"Is my child sad, hurt, afraid?"
"Might this be embarassment, worry or disappointment?"
"Does my teenager look or sound frustrated?"
"If I were my child, experiencing these things now, how might I possibly feel?"

Recognising, describing, and labelling feelings expressed by our children increases their self-awareness and broadens our, and their, human experience (Emotional Intelligence). This level of intelligence results in deeper, more meaningful communication. It strengthens and fosters our, and their, emotional health.

If you can't determine what the feeling you are seeing and hearing might be... guess. Reflect your guess to your child "I guess you might be feeling annoyed about that?"

If you have guessed inacurately, your child will likely correct you "No, not quite annoyed, I am more uncertain than annoyed." You will both have learnt something more about your child.

Be a brave, sincerely interested parent as often as you can.

Be a brave and sincerely interested parent more often than you used to be and less often than you presently practice to become in the future!

Adapted from "Becoming a Better Parent" LDS Social Services